


Unicorn Turds (part 1)

by jennamacaroni



Series: Unicorn Turds [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-02-09 23:39:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2002449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennamacaroni/pseuds/jennamacaroni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Santana Lopez has been crushing on Brittany Pierce since she was a first year.  But Brittany is the most popular girl in school and a star quidditch player, and Santana is practically invisible…  Harry Potter AU Brittana.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unicorn Turds (part 1)

**Author's Note:**

> this little 'verse started out as a fanslide for the Janet Jackson song "If" and snowballed from there.
> 
> i post this story mainly on my tumblr (jennamacaroni.tumblr.com), but will try and keep this up-to-date as well. thanks for reading!

Brittany Pierce is the most badass girl in school. Top of her class, favorite among the Hogwarts professors (even droll Professor Binns, who never seems to take an interest in any student), captain of the Ravenclaw quidditch team (not to mention one of the best seekers Hogwarts had seen in decades), president of the Magical Creatures Club, and Prefect for the second consecutive year.

Santana Lopez had been secretly pining after Brittany since her first year, when Santana had her head buried in her school map searching for the transfiguration classroom and accidentally knocked into Brittany on the Grand Staircase. Santana, mumbling an apology and bending down to pick up her fumbled “Hogwarts, A History” book remembers the feel of Brittany’s hand on her elbow pulling her back upright, her blazing smile and bright sapphire eyes, and the creases formed by laughter lines on her face. She remembers the giggle and “no worries, newbie” Brittany laughed before pointing her in the right direction and taking off up the staircase two steps at a time to catch up with her friends.

How many times over the past four years had Santana looked across the Great Hall over breakfast to gaze at Brittany run her hair through her long blonde hair in between sips of pumpkin juice, or secretly cheer every graceful dip and dive she took during quidditch matches. Santana even took to studying outside on the grounds on the hill above the pitch during the warmer months just to hope to catch the Ravenclaw team practicing. Santana was always careful not to get caught staring, but it was like a sixth sense she had; like she could feel a tugging deep in her gut whenever Brittany stepped into the room, even if Santana was engrossed in studying or another conversation.

“Hellllloooooo… Earth to Santana,” Rachel crows, leaning into Santana’s line of sight and reaching across the table to snap her fingers a few inches in front of Santana’s eyes to get her attention. “One of these days I’m totally going to petrificus totalus you while you’re oogling at Brittany, then start throwing Bertie Bott’s beans into your open mouth until you choke,” Rachel laughs, teasing.

“Can it, Berry. And I wasn’t oogling,” Santana grumbles, throwing an annoyed glare in Rachel’s direction from across the table.

“Why don’t you actually, oh, I don’t know, _talk_ to her?!” Rachel suggests, looking back and forth between Santana’s red face and Brittany doing a troll impression across the hall.

“Because, Berry, she doesn’t even know I exist, so drop it,” Santana snaps, taking a large bite of pie and allowing her eyes to flit quickly to Brittany and back down again to her plate.

“Fine, whatever, you hopeless lovestruck idiot. But what happens next year when she’s Head Girl and you’re a Prefect and she’ll not only know your name but actually be bossing you around?” Rachel asks, grinning maliciously.

“You don’t know I’m going to be a Prefect, and she can boss me around however she’d like. Wanky, I know,” Santana adds, catching Rachel’s suggestive single eyebrow raise. “Now seriously, shut the hell up,” Santana groans, taking one last bite before throwing down her fork and pushing herself up from the table.

Brittany happens to look up at the same time and catches Santana’s eye over the Hufflepuff table and Santana chokes on her last bite of pie, steps on the hem of her robe while lifting her leg over the bench and stumbles forward back into the table, catching herself at the last moment by sticking her palm right into the leftover pie still on her plate.

“Smooth, Lopez,” Rachel sputters, throwing her head back with laughter as Santana wipes the mess from her hand, throws the dirty napkin in Rachel’s direction and high tails it out of the Great Hall.


End file.
